Second Star to the Right

Blargh

But I’ve been torn between letting certain people and aspects of my life go or fighting for them. I really don’t know if they’re worth it anymore, given recent interactions…but they’ve been such a huge part of my life over the past two years and have been there through so much, that it’s really hard to imagine completely cutting off contact. And yet, it seems that I cannot be truly happy unless I do.

I’ve also been struggling a lot with my weight lately, and while it’s no new battle, it’s getting harder. I’ve never been a size 4, and certainly don’t aim to be, but over the last year and a half I’ve gained back and more the weight I lost senior year, and it’s seeming like no matter what I do I can’t get rid of it. I’ve been exercizing regularly for about two months now and eating much much healthier, and nothing is happening. It’s just really frustrating. And then looking at friends who are like “oh i just walked to school instead of taking the bus and lost ten pounds in three weeks” and being like “cooool. I walk to school every day and don’t drink soda or eat much junk food and have gained three pounds and I’m certain it’s not muscle.”

Ugh. The next few months are going to be really rough.